Once upon a time, I was drinking wine in a kitchen full of girls (out of a box mind you) debating how important it was for me to be percieved as smart. My friends have loved me and laughed with me, and this case laughed at me because as they said, "Love, you are too cool to be considered a nerd." Even though I swear it's what I've always wanted.
The perks of success? Having every one call you intense and serious. I swear, there was a time when people couldn't imagine that a smile was ever off my face- but can you believe that focus on goals sometimes lets you lose sight on the importance of laughter? Some days, I even feel awkward making jokes. Yes, those awkward "ha ha's" you hear cubicle's away to a joke I tried to tell that fell on the floor, I swear it was me.
Love and Other Drugs- not a movie I wanted for the one night I've had to myself in around 60 days. The serious side says: Oh great Love, you chose a movie you thought would be funny but really it is serious and has references to diseases, not at all laughable. The other side of me says, well Love you did just pay a dollar to watch this. Enough seriousness and on with the laughter- I hope shakespeare once said that.
Yes, those are naked bodies to the left- and one image of the movie that reminded me that if you "don't use it, you lose it". So why am I saying no to dating again?
But seriously, or not seriously, what good is the success when you get tunnel vision. The world is a tough, harsh place, hallelujah Osama is dead and yet I still have challenges with landing a job. Social concerns are important to me but the celebrations and the vacation I have coming up, everything often seems to be stressful. I'm convinced that if I can interview they won't let me walk out that door- and yet, it's the only thing I've focused on.
In the mean time, I've laughed little, loved not at all, and in some ways have questioned whether or not I'll get to any of my goals. I have even turned down a date because it wasn't worth the lack of sleep on a Thursday night - I swear I'm not 50.
The doubt is the worst part of being successful, where you question what you deserve and the worst is when you find someone more deserving than you. When you are down, try thinking about all the people that are more qualified and the struggle it is to walk into meetings with your head held high as if you own that meeting.
I recommend the laughter- it'll cure you of those days where you struggled to keep that chin raised. There will always be those days. Regardless of if you go to work hungover or off a professional success, the days will still great you where your adequecy and legitimacy and critics are there to challenge you. These are challenges and not obstructions.
Laughter is what I always relied on through the tough times, and I swear there is still a sense of humour in here somewhere. Being taken seriously as a professional does not mean changing your personality. After a chief investigator from ATF called me "intense" and "serious" last week, I know I've gotten off the path of what has made me happy. Happiness = success
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